Tears Fade and Hurt Stays
by Dakota Ray
Summary: Seven years have come and gone, and a certain blonde continues his search for a certain raven. With his mental status at question, how will he cope with the return of his former teammate, rival, and best friend? The bane of his existence? .. NC-17, Yaoi


**A/N: This is the first chapter of about twelve, give or take a few. I will try to post a new chapter either once or twice a week. Please review so that I know what you think thus far.  
Rating: PG-15 for violence in this chapter. Other chapters will range from R to NC-17 in later chapters.  
Main Pairing: Naruto and Sasuke  
Disclaimer: I was not the genius who came up with the idea of Naruto. That credit goes to Kishimoto. (And I hope I did not misspell the name...)  
Spoilers: Few, but there may be some here and there. I'm following the general story-line to the point where Sasuke left, but that's about it. If you read the manga and are current in your reading, you'll understand in later chapters.  
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The years had flown by for some, but not for him. Never for him. His mind was always caught in the past, roaming over the same day and same thoughts day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year. It seemed to have become his soul purpose in life, replacing what he had once screamed and protested was his destiny, though, he still held that dream close to his heart. That dream had just been overshadowed. After all, how could he lead when he could not even save the life and soul of someone who he thought to be precious to him, as Haku would have phrased it. He could not. So until he fulfilled his promise, he would not move forward towards his dream.

But now, sitting cross legged beside the man who so much resembled the one that plagued his thoughts, he could not hold back the self hatred he felt for himself. If only he'd fought a little harder, given a little more... Maybe, maybe he would not have left. Maybe she would not have suffered a broken heart and falling tears. Maybe.. things would have stayed the way they were, and even gotten better. But that was all it was now. A maybe.

"Hey, Dickless. Penny for your thoughts," came the common insult mixed with a friendly phrase he'd probably stolen from some tactless book he'd read.

"Oi, Sai! I told you not to call me that, and I just had an idea is all," a slightly irritated blonde replied, sweeping a strand of his hair away from cerulean eyes.

"Must be awful lonely," Sai retorted, his eyes never straying from the pad he held in a firm grip, brush sweeping across the pale paper in elegant strokes of black.

Blinking dazedly for a moment, Naruto shifted his gaze back to the alabaster skinned shinobi beside him. "I'm not lonely. There's four of us on this dumb mission, and you're sitting right here beside me like a damned shadow!" He pointed out rather loudly, eyes narrowing suspiciously, waiting for the insult that was bound to flow from between Sai's lips.

"Not you. I was referring to your thought. It must be lonely in your otherwise vacant head," Sai responded, lifting his coal gaze from his master piece.

It took the young Jounin a few moments to properly register what Sai had just said to him before it all clicked. Small flecks of red seemed to decorate his blue iris as he balled his hands into fists at his sides. Why did Sai always have to insult him? Was that all the guy knew how to do after nearly three years of working together?!

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! I'M AS SMART AS THE NEXT GU-"

"Shut it, Naruto, before you alert the entire forest and surrounding area of us!" bellowed a pink haired kounichi who's form seemed to sizzle with rage as she held her fist up, ready to knock the blonde upside his head once more for good measure.

A pathetic whimper and mutter was the only reply as he folded his arms and turned away from the two of them. "I wasn't being as loud as she is..." he grumbled to himself, or so he thought.

"What was that, Naruto?" Sakura demanded in a barely contained voice, fist shaking from the restraint needed not to konk the idiot unconscious right then and there. It wouldn't do to have to drag his sorry ass to their location and back. No, if she did do that, she'd probably leave him wherever he fell to. Serve him right!

Yelping, he threw his hands in the air quickly as a sign of submission. "Nothing, Sakura! Nothing! I swear!" he said in a quick and rushed tone, praying that she would believe him. Another hit from the medinin would probably give him brain damage. She was near ready to give the old hag a run for her money, after all.

With an innocent little smile tucked into place, the pink haired girl gave the sweetest giggle ever heard before saying in a dark voice,"That's what I thought." It was an unnerving sight when Sakura got like this, and poor Naruto was usually used as the punching bag. So what if he yelled a little in enemy territory? That just meant that he could kick some ass and get through this mission with a little fun, but then he'd have Sakura, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Kakashi, Iruka, and a lot of others on his tail about botching up the mission. Even when he'd finally reached the level of a Jounin he was still treated like the hyperactive genin he once was... Truth was, though, that he wished that he could still pretend to be so carefree.

He'd never been as innocent, naive, or clueless as it used to appear. Naruto just never wanted pity from anyone so he always hid behind a facade, but after everything he's seen and done over the years, he can't pretend that well anymore. Sure, he can be loud and boisterous, place a warm and charming smile in place on cue, and even laugh louder than anyone around him, but he cannot fool himself anymore. And he's not sure if he even wants to keep trying.

As soon as Sakura turned to leave, Naruto focused his attention back on Sai, who seemed to have returned to his drawing. If Naruto had been anyone else, he would have thought that Sai had ignored the entire confrontation, but the small smirk pulling at the other's lips was a dead give away if one knew what to look for. The painter had enjoyed the show a great deal it seemed.

"That was all your fault, you know? Now Sakura-chan is mad at me," Naruto whined as he pouted obviously. Why had Sakura just hit him? Sai was the one who'd started it, not that he was going to argue with Sakura-chan. No way! He valued his life a little more than seeing the crap knocked out of Sai, which he did get to see on occasion when the other male messed up and made the girl angry with one of his casual insults. Those were some of the few moments lately that he still managed to cherish.  
"Naruto, Sai, come here," came another man's voice from the direction Sakura had fled.

Naruto and Sai landed side by side before looking towards the group's leader. They knew what was coming, and there would be no more time for jokes or jibes. No, this was the time you pushed your soul and heart to the back of your mind and allowed your training and basic survival instincts to take control. To go into a situation like this with your morals strung out could and would mean the death of yourself and maybe even your squad. They had to be indifferent and inhumane now.

"We're going to split apart, everyone taking their own angle. The target is somewhere within the base, but with the multiple entrances, we need to separate so as to widen the search effort and make it quicker. The guards will be easy to take out so don't waste too much time on them. No one is to know who did this so we cannot dwell longer than necessary. If seen, do not allow them to get away. Everyone understand?" Three heads nodded in morbid agreement. "Then let's go." With that Naruto went East, Sai headed South, Sakura dashed off to the West, and Shikamaru darted towards the North. They had a mission to complete.

-x-Ten Minutes Later-x-

Naruto had made it through the well hidden doorway without running into a single guard, and he had been running down the narrow corridor for seven minutes now. A lot of ground had been covered, and there was still no sign of anyone around. Not even a flicker of chakra. This made the blonde uneasy as he continued down the hallway, eyes darting around for any indication of a trap or ambush. So far there was still nothing. Something was not right. They'd watched the man and his guards file into the lair. Where were they?

He didn't have long to ponder as a clay hand shot out of the left wall, colliding with the right just a second after he'd moved his head out of the way, which he was glad. Where the hand had struck was a web design of cracking concrete and stone. That would have been enough force to squash his head like a tomato.

As soon as the hand retracted, at least a dozen more shot from the floor, ceiling, and walls. Whoever this was had good control of his chakra because Naruto still couldn't sense a damned thing as he dodged one fist after another, trying to form quick hand signs in his haste. Every time he came to the final seal, a hand would come too close to connecting, forcing him to drop the gathered chakra and move out of the way before it was too late. This wasn't getting him any closer to the target...

Channelling a quick burst of red chakra through his body, he formed the seals at inhuman speeds. Spinning almost delicately in the palm of his right hand was a bustling ball of blue chakra, ready to tear into any and everything it was unleashed upon. Without a second thought to what may happen, Naruto slammed the ball into the next hand that shot after him, and then into the wall behind. The abnormal strength of his chakra had the walls creaking and groaning as they began to collapse in on themselves.

As Naruto bolted out of the falling rubble, he heard an array of eerie screams mixed of anguish and pain before the bitter smell of blood reached his sensitive smell. There had been more than one, he noted calmly. As soon as the mission was complete, and he was home once more, he'd probably feel a bit of his own heart and soul fade away with the memory of the faceless shinobi who'd just been buried beneath a ton of rock and stone, forgotten to the world already. But for now, he continued down the path set before him as though nothing had just happened.

Then something claimed his attention effortlessly.

A teal flare of chakra flashed somewhere ahead of him. After mesmerizing that chakra pattern since he was twelve, Naruto knew who that was without thinking about it. Sakura must have made it to the center of the building before any of the others, and she seemed to have run into some trouble from the amount of chakra that was being released, her's along with several other sources. Praying that the medical ninja could hold her own just a bit longer, Naruto pushed past his own limits and became only a blur down the halls as he raced to his teammate's aide.

He would shut down his emotions for a mission. There was no problem with that, but he'd never give up the compassion he felt towards any one of his comrades. His life, in his opinion, was of no comparison to those who fought at his side. Naruto would gladly greet the God of Death himself before he allowed another ninja of Konohagakure or even Sunagakure the pleasure.

Walls fell upon themselves once more as he burst through, not having the time to wait to go through the labyrinth of corridors. Sakura's chakra had flickered in a way that had his stomach turning in on itself, forcing him to taste the rising bile at the thoughts racing through his mind now, without his permission. The jump within the teal chakra was something he'd begun to associate with the near dead or quickly weakening. There was no more time to do this the right way. He'd do it his way, crashing his body through one thick wall and running straight into the next. His body slowly, but rapidly, bruising, breaking, and some parts were now screaming for him to stop before he claimed his own life.

"If you want to live that bad, Fox, you'd better help out here," he growled viciously under his breath, catching the scent of fresh blood in the acrid air around him. Whether his own or someone else, he could not tell. His mind had blanked out to one goal for now. One purpose now. One final wall, sending him clattering to the floor on the other side, teeth bared, growling low in his throat as he straightened to his full height, eyes flashing scarlet at the eight men crowded within the small confines. That's when his eyes fell upon a welcomed sight.

"Nar..Naruto?" came the hesitant question formed by Sakura's lips, clutching at an obviously broken arm as she sat on the floor... Or what remained of the floor after one of her hits. She was alive and well enough. Her life was not in danger of fading from the world. Not yet.

With a vulpine smile towards her, Naruto's eyes faded back to the calm blue. "Hey, Sakura! I thought you might need some help," he quipped easily, knuckles cracking loudly. "Watch this. I'll show these losers what a real ninja can do!" As he took a step towards the haggard and practically snarling men, he frowned deeply and lowered his arms.

Three fell quickly as kunai embedded themselves within their skulls. Two of the men, looking no older than seventeen or so, looked baffled and frightened as a shadow in the shape of a hand snaked up their's bodies before fastening around their throats, choking the life from them. That left three, who were quickly backing away in search of an escape. Three? That seemed a good enough number to release a little frustration over. Good enough for now...

But as he began to make his advance, another fell as Sakura skirted past the blonde and rammed the fist of her unbroken arm straight into one man's head. As soon as impact, a faint cracking and snapping sound resonated throughout the room, signaling the shattering of the man's skull. Tiny fragments lodged themselves into the soft tissue of his brain, numbing all senses and putting an end to all thought as he fell to his knees. Blood flowed freely from either ear as he finally pitched forward onto the ground with a soft gurgle of his own blood. It may have been a plea, but it was too late any way.

Not wasting another precious moment, Naruto advanced, not wanting to be left out of all of the fun. As his nails grew and altered to the beastly appearance of razor sharp claws, he gleefully tore into the chest cavity of the nearest of the final two men. As he withdrew his blood coated hand from within the wide eyed and gasping man, he happily gave the poor creature a full view of his own heart.. before his fingers enclosed upon the fragile organ. In one sickening motion, that man, too, fell to the blood soaked earth, no sign of life flowing through his body. Grinning madly, he focused on the final man.

This one seemed to have more sense than the others. As soon as his honey colored eyes met Naruto's clouded blue ones, his hands were blurring through a set of complex and ancient hand gestures. The jutsu was never destined to be completed, though, as a shinobi in black appeared behind him. With his half blade and one swift and delicate motion, the man's jugular was severed, his hands flying to the gush of crimson, trying to stifle of the flow of his life that was abandoning him. He did not suffer long, though, as the blade pierced his cranium less than one second later. Killing the young man.

Blue orbs remained glued upon the fallen man, as if wishing for him to stand so that he, too, could strike, but that never happened as seconds ticked away into minutes. There was nothing but silence as every one else watched Naruto cautiously.

"Naruto, are you..."

"Sakura, don't," Shikamaru snapped as the girl tried to approach her friend. Their friend...

She ignored him, though, as she took another step forward, forcing her body not to fail her just yet. Sakura had seen Naruto's eyes when he'd come through the wall. There was no denying the blood red that had taken over the normally calm blue, but upon seeing her, they'd softened back to the usual. Why then? Why had Naruto acted like this, again? It couldn't have been Kyuubi. That had been Naruto, himself.

"Naruto, are you alright? You aren't hurt, are you?" she asked softly, not wanting to startle him. He seemed oblivious to those around him right now. She didn't want to turn his wrath onto any of them. Not this time...

"Huh? Sakura.. SAKURA!" he exclaimed as he turned quickly so as to see the flustered girl. "Me?! I'm fine! But you.. YOU! You need to be taken to a hospital right away! How bad is it? Are you okay? I came in time, didn't I? You'll be oka- OW!"

Glaring daggers at the boy gone mother hen, she snapped harshly,"Cut it out you idiot! I have a broken bone, and my chakra is low! You're the one running through walls and..." Her yelling softened to a more worried tone as she scrutinized the face of her friend for what seemed like years. "Are you okay, Naruto?"

Holding his hurt head, Naruto cringed at Sakura's screeching. He'd only been worried about her. Why'd she have to hit him for that? She was getting as abusing as the old hag. This was very bad for his health.

"Huh? What'd mean, Sakura? I feel fine. Well, other than you always hitting me... Why'd you ask?"

"She's probably worried that your tiny dick got hurt. It's too small for things like this," Sai explained in a good natured voice as Sakura just gave a weak glare at him and then shook her head.

"Nevermind, Naruto. Let's just... Don't hit Sai!... go home," she said softly, her knees buckling against each other.

Growling at the black haired man, Naruto looked at Sakura just in time to see her begin to fall. "Sakura!" he yelled as he caught her in his arms. "I thought you said you were okay? I thought a medical ninja would know what's wrong with them? What's wrong with you? You will be fine, won't yo-... Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!" It was like holding a wounded and wild bird in one's arms.

"Shut up, Naruto! I'm fine, just tired, and my arm might hurt a little!" Sighing after yelling once more, she just shook her head before a thought struck her. "Hey! Did anyone find the target?"

"He was a few hundred yards into the South entrance," Sai explained, holding up the ring that the man had always worn. It would be proof enough to the woman who'd hired them.

"Alright. Let's go before anyone else shows up. We need to get Sakura home right away," Shikamaru replied after studying the two Chuunin and Jounin before him. Something wasn't right, but he could feel that it could wait for now. It would have to.

-x-Three Hours Later-x-

"The mission went easily enough, with the exception of Haruno, Sakura suffering a broken arm and drained chakra. The target was found and taken care of," Shikamaru said in the appropriate tone as he addressed both the Hokage and the woman who'd placed a hit on the man's head.

"Very well, Captain. I'm sure Mistress Shiori finds the job to be to her satisfaction," Tsunade replied in a business like manner, her hands pressed together in front of her face.

A brunette woman could only beam happily as she nodded enthusiastically. "Yes. Yes, of course. I'm very pleased, and as I promised, the village shall receive both a bonus for completing this mission as well as monthly funding from me. Thank you all for your.. services." She fled the room, silk dress flowing after her, as soon as her last word had faded into the silence.

After observing the wooden door clicking shut, Tsunade rounded on her newest ANBU Captain. "You wrote on the report that there was something that should be brought to my attention in privacy. Well.. What is it?"

Shikamaru had slouched into his usual position as soon as the woman had left. Releasing a forlorn sigh, he nodded, trying to formulate a good way of saying this to Tsunade. After three minutes of listening to the older woman tap on her desk, he decided that there was no such way.

"Naruto lost control of himself, again. It wasn't as bad as the past two times, but he didn't seem to be himself, either. Normally, he's conservative in his fighting in the sense that he doesn't feel the need to tear apart his victims. Today, he tore out a man's heart with a too happy smile present. He was enjoying himself. Something is not right, Tsunade. I don't think it was the demon this time."


End file.
